The Engineering Library

(+1) Let go over a cliff, die completely, and then come back to life - after that you cannot be decieved.
-Zen Saying

I'm frustrated with myself. I told myself 5 a day, well I found about 5 excuses yesterday why I couldn't ask anyone. It appears haveing a peer there is completely neccessary for me to achieve anything. But once in a while, there are those moments . . .

I was on my hometurf- the engineering library. There was a woman who sat at the table across from me and she was pretty drop-dead gorgeous. I was doing my probability homework - joint probability distributions. And then I said to myself, I should probably ask her on a date. But then the math got back to me. I should finish that up first.

Well wouldn't you know that Dan happens to walk into the Engineering Library (this is my area punk!) He starts up this long conversation with a girl and I am SOO jealous. Well I go over and realize it's a mutual friend of ours, and its not Dan just using his smoothe moves. This gets me riled up a bit to "make the move". Dan eventually stops by and chats with me. He asks me if I'm going to do "it". I take a motion with my pen and say, yah she's mine. Dan's jealous.

So I go back to my probability while the girl next to me continues her finance. Lets just say it was hard to focus on probability. I told myself that as soon as I finish I'll ask her (providing for a key escape). Well I couldn't focus. The numbers were difficult to think about. (That said, the feeling was much like being in love - things were just snapping and seemed unusually good). At one point I really had to pee (but she might leave)! So I ran to go to the restroom.

As I feared, she got up before I could solve for the estimated value of Y, so I had to make my move. Oh how I had the move. You see, just asking a girl on date, AWKWARD. So I went up to her as she was packing and asked her if I could borrow her calculator. She say's sure. We start talking about her finance class. 1/12+1/128=0.00841, check (as if I really needed that). I then say in just a horribly awkard voice "I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?" Her response...

Sorry I have a boyfriend. Bummer. Well she was a bussiness major, so things probably would have gone downhill either way. But I was bummed (though glad I did it). I've noticed that a very frequent response I get is "I have a boyfriend" - I think this might be a nice little ploy, as I have yet to hear: "No". Interesting. Cause what is the probability that 5/5 girls I ask have a boyfriend or conveniently lost their phone: Well lets consider that half the women are dating (which is way higher than actuall in my opinion, so. .. ) we have that the chance that all 5 girls I went up to were in a relationship as (1/2)^5 or 1/32. Hmmm.. Well I'm glad I took probability.

Funny thing was, when I was leaving I saw an attractive girl, and then said, wasn't that the person I already asked? I couldn't remember her face at all. So much for nerves of steel!

First Day

(x) There is a girl in the engineering center who I have always had my eye on but we never have really done anything outside of casual talk. I saw her sitting in the engineering center and we naturally had a conversation about future employment.
I wanted to ask her on a date but I couldn't do it. I wasn't mentally prepared. My mind hit that conflicting stage where I send myself two messages at once and I can't do anything: a. Do it, you know its a yes, and it would be fun, and it would mean a lot to her. b. Don't do it. You don't want to strain a relationship that you have had for 3 years in the last 5 weeks. And when my mind is paralyzed the conservative, don't do it attitude ALWAYS wins, so I stepped away.
I have a theory that I might have to start on something easier: complete strangers, otherwise my "mind freeze" is just going to repeate itself ad-infinitum.